So I know all of you are probably wondering about me.....or maybe not. But I will think you guys like to know what I am up to.
I think my last post was about my back breaking grief about my husband. Mackenzie is still in my thoughts, but things are starting to develop into a different routine. It's kind of scary, well, really it is VERY scary to realize what my children will become will be a result of what kind of parent I am. It's all on me, I don't have Mackenzie to rely on.
Who am I? I've been thinking about that a lot. Before I was always Sarah Kearl, wife, mother, friend. I still am Sarah Kearl, but now it being just me has really caused me to ponder. Who am I and what do I want in life? We moved out here to saskatchewan because of Mackenzie's job, everything that we've done has always been about what Mackenzie does. I was a stay at home mom, and we moved where the work was. I know we were supposed to be out here, I definitely know that, but now with Mackenzie gone, it feels weird. It's like I can do whatever I want because I have to. Does that make sense? Like, if I wanted to move to France, what is holding me back? If it's right, why wouldn't I go?
Well, I just thought I'd write this down since this has been swirling in my mind all morning. Thanks and I hope you all have a great day! I LOVE YOU!!
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I enjoyed your post. I have wondered how you are. I have something I want to send you. Could you email me your address?
ReplyDeletelittleredjen@gmail.com
I hope that you find adventure in this life and you teach those boys to love the outdoors. One of the things that really impressed me was Ken's desire to reach goals related to nature(like hike all the peaks in Waterton). It has made me want to do more. We have all learned from him in some way. I just hope we can all pass it onto the boys.
Be brave and be strong. I love you Sara.
Thanks for your post.
Jen
I'm so glad you posted something new - I've been wondering about ya! It definitely is a big change going from making decisions together with a partner to suddenly being at the helm on your own. At least you'll always get your way ;). I guess the good thing to remember is that you don't have to make the decisions all on your own. I know that you already know this, but as long as you're willing to accept the answer our Father in Heaven will show you the way, whatever it may be. Good luck steering the ship, I know you'll find the right course.
ReplyDeleteI too was wondering how things were going. Thanks for posting. I know you will do whatever is right for your little family because of the closeness I see you have with your Savior. He will protect you and guide you.
ReplyDeletemaybe not france...? it'd be nice to live somewhere where you have a support group of family and friends to lift you up when you're feeling down... I'm sure you'll do the right thing and go where He wants you to go!
ReplyDeleteSarah is back! I am sure many of us were hoping for an update, so thank you.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure you feel the weight of your responsiblity keenly. But if there was someone I have confidence in to do single parenthood well, it is you, my dear. You are so capable, so faithful, so happy and hopeful. Your boys could not ask for a better mother to guide them into adulthood.
Just not in France.